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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Life

I really need to blog, as I haven't in almost a week. I have had a "not so good" week. Lots of pain, both physically and mentally. The neuropathy is kicking my butt and for some reason, my sister's death has hit me hard. Maybe I thought it wasn't real and I'd wake up and she'd be here, but I realize it really did happen and she's gone. I miss her, I miss her a lot. I ask why also. What could I have done differently, to help her. I want to talk to her again, see her again and help her. I can't and it's killing me.

I also have this sinus, asthma thing going on. I can't wait till summer. But it's cold and snowing here today. I long for the warm days, and the sunshine, so I can sit outside. It's only February, I know. Lots more winter left in Ohio.

I wanted to share with you a new pic of Daniel. He's 7 weeks in this pic. Look at that grin!!!! He's a keeper for sure!! They sent some pics of the girl's that I need to scan to show you. Just pretty sister's he has!!



I hope everyone is having a fun, warm, and happy weekend. I will try to do better with blogging. I just hate to bring my depression here.

God Bless~

10 comments:

Acutescrubnurse said...

Debbie, hope this finds you having a better day. I'm sorry that your sisters death is taking a toll on you, I'm sure the stress of it has not made your health any easier. Do you have anyone to talk to?? A pastor maybe?? I hate to see you so sad, and sometimes if you talk to someone outside of your network, it is helpful.
You hang in there, love the pic of the new baby!! How precious!!
Take care,
Rita
I would send you "warm wishes", but it's not so warm here...and I know you don't need anymore cold!!

Susan said...

Debbie,
I feel so bad for you. My thoughts are with you and I pray that this week goes much better.
I love the cute picture. What a great smile.
Spring is only a few weeks away and I hope the warm weather visits you very soon.
I will be thinking of you,
Susan

Ness said...

Debbie Jean! This is your blog and we are your friends. If you can't share how you feel, good or bad, with us, then who can you share it with? You'd be the first one to tell us that it's OK to share the ups and downs of life on our blog. I'm sorry you're having such discomfort. Give yourself time to grieve...it's OK. Your sister had more pain than she could deal with or so she thought and I doubt if you could have said anything to her. She is at peace now and you have lots of memories to hold onto in your heart. I would mention to your doctor when you see him next about your sister's death and he may want to put you on something for a while to help you get over the rough spot. Please level with us...that's what friends are for. You will have good days and bad days...just try and be patient with yourself. I love the baby's beautiful smile...he is definitely a keeper! Take care and know that you're loved and prayed for in Illinois.

joanne said...

Deb,
bring your depression, your sadness, your joy, and everything else here. This is your place and we come here because we love you and we want you to feel better.
I just read what Ness said...I agree. Please take care and e-mail me, call me, whatever...I'd love to hear from you. Take care sweetie...

kim-d said...

Hey there, Debbie Jean! What Ness and JoJo said? Count me right in with them. You do realize, don't you, that when three people say the same thing, THAT MAKES IT SO? It's true! :)

I know for a fact that mental stress, sadness, regrets, and what ifs take their toll on your physical well-being. Please, Deb, speak with your doctor about all of this. And also all of us, just like Ness and JoJo said. If you don't, it will just be a never-ending vicious circle. We've all got big, broad shoulders and we all have gone through "stuff" too, which makes us happy to be here for you when you need us. While we all go through our own things and no one else can say they totally know what you're going through, going through similar things makes us able to empathize. It's really kind of ironic that, before I came around visiting today, I wrote a blog post that touches on this very thing!

There is nothing like a baby's toothless grin to brighten up a gray, snowy day! Thanks for sharing Daniel. And everything else? We're ready, so BRING IT! :)

Reddirt Woman said...

Deb, you've gotten so much good advice from everyone before I got by, but know that you are in everyone's prayers. And do talk to your doctor about your depression. There is so much that can be done to help but you have to not be afraid to let them know you need some extra help during this difficult period...


Depression is something that I know about and deal with, so please talk with your doctor, your pastor or just scream, yell or cry to all of us. Just don't keep it all inside. The stress definitely makes the neuropathy worse.

Reddirt Woman said...

Oh, yeah, I forgot to add...

Write to your sister. Tell her all the things you want to tell her. Do it every day if you need to, but don't just keep rolling it over and over in your head. It does help.

Helen

dlyn said...

So sorry you are having a rough time of it lately. Hugs and prayers for you!

Just Deb said...

boy do i feel your pain with the Neuropathy. mine isnt anywhere near as bad as yours, so you have my prayers!

that baby is a darling!

joanne said...

just want to check in on you...i've been thinking of you all weekend. You got a lot of good advice and even more so... you've got a whole bunch of people who love you and are here for you. Please take care of yourself...we, (I) need you ;)